Friendship Red Flags: How to Know If You’re in a One-Sided Relationship

By Matt Ritter, Co-Host of the Man of the Year Podcast
Estimated read time: 3 min

Some Friendships Fill You Up. Others Leave You Empty.

Not all friendships are healthy. Some give you energy, connection, and trust. Others slowly drain your time, attention, and self-worth.

The hardest part? It can take years to realize when a friendship has become one-sided.

If you constantly feel like you’re doing the heavy lifting in a relationship—or you leave every hangout more depleted than fulfilled—it’s time to pause and reassess.

Here are five of the biggest red flags in a one-sided friendship—and what to do about them.

1. You’re Always the One Reaching Out

If you're the only one texting, calling, or making plans, that’s not a friendship—it’s a chore.

Friendship is mutual. It’s supposed to feel like two people pulling the weight together, not one person carrying the whole thing on their back.

If it always starts with you? That’s not a connection. That’s a responsibility.

2. They Only Call When They Need Something

You’ve become their go-to for venting, problem-solving, or borrowing things. But when you need help? Silence.

That’s a transactional relationship, not a friendship.

A good friend checks in when you have a hard week too—not just when they’re falling apart.

3. They Shrug Off Your Wins (or Make It About Them)

You share something you’re proud of—new job, dating someone, hitting a personal best—and they either:

• Downplay it

• Change the subject

• One-up you

Celebrating each other is part of what makes friendship meaningful. If your friend makes your good news feel awkward or insignificant, that’s a red flag.

4. You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Around Them

If you have to shrink, censor yourself, or wear a mask just to hang out—that’s not a friendship. That’s performance.

True friendship feels like relief. You should be able to show up as yourself—flaws, weird jokes, and all.

If you’re constantly walking on eggshells or trying to “keep the peace,” it’s worth asking: Why am I still maintaining this connection?

5. Your Gut Is Trying to Tell You Something

You don’t need a detailed pros-and-cons list to know something’s wrong.

If you feel anxious before seeing them, drained after hanging out, or just… off—you’re not imagining things. That’s your intuition speaking.

One-sided friendships often show up as quiet resentment or subtle emotional exhaustion. Pay attention to how you feel after a conversation, not just during it.

I’ve had those moments. Where I’d leave a hangout and instantly regret spending the energy.
If it feels like you’re doing social math every time you see someone, it’s probably not a friendship, it’s a drain. You’re getting sucked dry by a friendship vampire. Listen to your gut and move on.

Letting Go Makes Space for Something Better

Not every friendship is meant to last forever—and that’s okay.

Releasing a one-sided friendship doesn’t mean you’re cold or selfish. It means you’re making room for something healthier. Something mutual. Something real.

Want to build friendships that feel better, deeper, and more reciprocal?
Start the 7-Day Friendship Challenge — a free guide to help you reconnect with the people who matter (and release the ones who don’t).