5 Ways to Make Friends After College (That Actually Work)
By Matt Ritter, Co-Host of the Man of the Year Podcast
Estimated read time: 4 min
Nobody Teaches You How to Make Friends as an Adult
In college, it just... happens. You're surrounded by potential best friends. You're cramming for exams, sharing dorm bathrooms, eating $5 burritos together at 2 a.m.
But once you graduate? It’s like someone yanked the social safety net and replaced it with Slack notifications and small talk at networking events.
And yet, friendship doesn’t stop being important. In fact, post-college friendship might be the most important kind. Real adulthood is hard—breakups, bills, burnout, babies, and aging parents. You need people who know you, support you, and show up.
So why does it feel impossible to make new friends?
I’ve been there too. That’s why we started Man of the Year and why I launched The Friendship Guy. Here are five ways to build a real friendship circle after college—no forced happy hours required.
1. Treat Friendship Like Fitness: Put It on the Calendar
You’d never say, “I’m just waiting for a six-pack to show up someday.” Same goes for friendship.
It's no longer spontaneous—you have to schedule it. Treat friendship like a workout. Put it in your calendar:
“Text Brian about lunch.”
“Check in on Steph.”
“Grab coffee with Jordan.”
It doesn’t have to be deep, but it does have to be consistent. One hangout per month beats one epic weekend per year. Frequency > intensity.
2. Start with People You Already Know
You don’t need 100 new friends. You need 3–5 consistent ones. And odds are, they’re already in your phone.
The guy you used to grab beers with. The woman from your trivia team who always made you laugh.
Send a quick message:
“Hey, I’ve been thinking I want to get better at staying connected. Want to catch up?”
No pressure. Just a re-entry point. Reigniting friendships is easier than starting from scratch.
3. Join a Micro-Community (Not Just Any Group)
Yes, “join a club” is cliché advice. But what you actually want is a micro-community: a small, recurring group with purpose and consistency.
Think:
A weekly running group (with post-run hangs)
A men’s group or book club (less corny than it sounds)
A rec sports team
Volunteering around a cause you care about
The key is: people show up regularly and share more than surface-level vibes. That’s where friendship happens.
4. Be the One Who Organizes
Want friends? Be the person who sends the group text.
Plan the poker night. Host the game watch. Schedule the hike. People are craving connection—they’re just waiting for someone to take the lead.
Here’s the secret: the organizer is always the most socially fit person in the group. You don’t need a huge turnout. Two people show up? That’s a win. Friendship is about consistency, not volume.
5. Let Yourself Go First
Everyone wants deeper friendship. But no one wants to go first.
Be the one who says,
“Honestly, I’ve been feeling kind of disconnected lately.”
Or,
“Sometimes I just sit in my car for 10 minutes to avoid going into my apartment. That normal?”
That’s how real friendship starts. Vulnerability isn’t weakness—it’s permission.
When you share something honest, you give others space to do the same.
Final Thought
Making friends after college is hard. You’re not broken. You’re not failing.
You’re just living in a world that forgot to teach us how to stay connected once school ends.
But friendship is a skill. You can train it. And it gets easier, deeper, and better the more intentional you become.
When I was in my 30s, I started calling it “friendship maintenance.”
Not because it was a chore—but because I realized friendship is like a plant: ignore it, and it dies.
Water it just a little each week, and it stays alive…even if you miss a few months.
Want to build better friendships starting today?
Start the 7-Day Friendship Challenge — a free guide with simple, real-life moves to help you reconnect and show up for your people.
