Why “Got Anything Fun Coming Up?” Is the Best Reconnection Text You Can Send
By Matt Ritter, The Friendship Guy
We’ve all been there.
You want to reach out to someone — an old friend, a former coworker, a cousin you still follow on Instagram — but you don’t know what to say.
“How’ve you been?” feels too broad.
“We should catch up!” feels vague.
There’s a better move. And it works way more often than you'd think.
Try one of these:
“Got anything fun coming up?”
“What’s on the horizon for you?”
“Anything good on the calendar?”
These low-stakes, forward-looking questions are one of the best ways to reconnect with friends — and they're backed by real psychology.
1. Anticipation Makes People Happier
In a Harvard study on happiness, researchers found that people experience more joy from anticipating a future event than during or after the event itself.
When you ask someone what’s coming up, you’re not just making small talk — you’re inviting them into that anticipation.
You’re giving them permission to feel hopeful again.
Even if they don’t have anything planned, your message can become the nudge that helps them look forward to something.
2. Talking About the Future Builds Stronger Connections
According to research in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, when people talk about the future, they feel closer and more connected — even if they’ve just met.
Why does this matter?
The future feels safe: it’s full of possibility.
Unlike the past (complicated) or the present (stressful), the future is hopeful.
It’s the perfect topic for rekindling friendships without pressure or awkwardness.
3. Asking About Plans Increases Personal Agency
Behavioral researchers have shown that talking about what we can control — like upcoming plans — increases motivation, optimism, and well-being.
When you ask someone about their calendar, you’re reminding them:
“You still have a say in your story.”
It’s a subtle but powerful way to help a friend feel seen, energized, and in control.
4. It’s Not a Trap — It’s a Friendly Cue
Let’s be honest:
“How’ve you been?” can feel like a trap.
It opens the door to a life update nobody was prepared for — or worse, a dead-end reply. I have to admit I’ve been on both ends, where I’ve been like “Please G-d, do no ask me how I’ve been, my dad just passed away and I’m gonna lose it” and also, “ooof, I really did not need to get that baggage unloaded on me by this borderline stranger.”
But “Got anything fun coming up?” feels light, easy, and non-threatening.
It’s a low-pressure social script, something social psychologist Vanessa Bohns says reduces the fear of rejection and helps people re-engage more naturally.
Final Thought: It’s Not Small Talk — It’s Friendship in Action
Asking someone about their future isn’t small talk.
It’s you showing up — in a world where most people just scroll past.
So try it.
Send that message.
Text one person today and ask:
“What’s on the horizon for you?”
Because chances are, they’d love to talk about it.
Want More Ways to Reconnect?
📩 Join the free 7-Day Friendship Challenge
One simple action a day to rebuild and strengthen your friendships — without the awkwardness.
