🧰 The Friend Text Vault
by Matt Ritter
Real messages to help you reconnect, make plans, and actually follow through.
You don’t need to write the perfect message.
You just need to say something real.
Below are simple, copy-pasteable texts to help you get back in motion, with the kind of friends who matter but haven’t heard from you in too long.
🗓️ 1. Lock In the Plan
For when you’re tired of “we should hang soon”:
“Let’s lock in coffee or a beer. Tuesday or Wednesday work for you?”
“I’ve got dibs on one day this month. What’s actually open on your end?”
“Let’s book something before we ghost each other for another six months.”
“If we don’t pick a date now, we’re gonna end up catching up at someone’s funeral.”
🌬️ 2. Quick, Low-Lift Reconnects
For when you want to see them but don’t want to overcomplicate it:
“Quick walk this weekend? I need air and a real human conversation.”
“I’ve got 30 minutes and a babysitter. You in?”
“Feel like a Target run?”
“Grab a burrito and talk about nothing for an hour?”
📞 3. Breaking the Silence
For when it’s been a while and you’re not sure what to say:
“No big reason for this message, just saw something that reminded me of you and wanted to say hey.”
“Miss you, man. Let’s not make it weird. Let’s just catch up.”
“I know we’ve both been slammed. Want to reset our rhythm?”
“I was thinking about when we used to ____. It made me smile. Hope you’re good.”
😂 4. Funny Nudges That Work
For when sincerity feels too intense, but you still want connection:
“I need one plan on the calendar that isn’t a dentist appointment or a Microsoft Teams.”
“Let’s hang before AI replaces both our jobs and our personalities.”
“My social life currently consists of the guy who turns seeds into plants on Instagram Reels and voice memos I forget to send. Save me?”
“Let’s catch up before my kid learns to say, ‘Daddy’s not emotionally available right now.’”
🎉 5. Celebrate Something (or Just Show Up)
“Saw you got the promotion. Congrats! Let me buy you a drink and make it about me.”
“Happy birthday, you legend. Let’s celebrate like we’re still 28.”
“You’re doing awesome, whether or not you feel it. Let’s hang soon. My treat.”
🙃 When You Want to Say Something Real (But Don’t Know How)
“You’ve been on my mind. I’m not great at this, but I care about you. Let’s catch up.”
“You’re one of the few people I actually miss. You around this week?”
“It feels like we’re both waiting for the other to reach out. So… here I am.”
❌ What Not to Say
These sound friendly, but they stall the connection instead of restarting it.
🚫 “We gotta catch up!!”
→ Feels like something you yell in passing at Trader Joe’s. No one follows up.
🚫 “I miss youuuu ❤️”
→ Sweet, but now what? That’s a feeling, not a plan.
🚫 “Sorry I’ve been the worst friend 😩”
→ They’re not mad — they just want to hang. Don’t lead with guilt.
🚫 “You around these days?”
→ What does that even mean? Physically? Emotionally? Say what you want.
🚫 “Let me know what works for you.”
→ Sounds generous. Actually puts all the work on them.
🧠 Quick Rule:
If it ends in “soon,” “sometime,” or just vibes — it’s not a plan.
Offer a day. Offer a place. Make it easy to say yes.
💬 Use One. Modify One. Just Send Something.
Most friendships don’t fade from drama.
They fade from inactivity. From “sometime” syndrome.
The right time is right now.
👉 Want to really follow through?
Take the 1-Plan Challenge:
Pick one friend. One day. One time.
Text them right now, then email me (matt@thefriendshipguy.com) and tell me what you locked in. I read and reply to them all!
Let’s build friendships that show up.
– Matt, The Friendship Guy 👊
